I can't believe the time is finally here! Today I have had my departing interview with my mission president, my companion has already gone back to our area with her new companion (leaving me awkwardly by myself)(good things there's lots of other missionaries around here), and now in my last two days I will be eating dinner with the Blickenstaffs, going to the Taibei temple. and leaving on a jet plane to America. I'll be back again in April, though, so that's exciting!
I've had a good last week as a missionary. It was Chinese New Year for everyone, which means that the missionaries get invited out to lunch and dinner every single day for a week. I think I paid for my own food for only one meal this entire week, and I decided to get ice cream because I was too full for anything else. The end result is that I gained like literally less than 1/2 a pound. I'm slightly disappointed. I was going for 10. ("Go big or go home," another sister said to me. "Or go big and then go home.")
I am so grateful that I could be a missionary. It has been the most uncomfortable, most difficult, most joyful, and most rewarding experience of my life. I wouldn't trade my mission for anything. Not even a bajillion dollars. I'd like to share with you what I wrote for my reflection I gave last week at zone meeting:
"I want to start my reflection, here at the end of my mission, by looking back at the reasons why I came on a mission in the first place. I want to focus on two of the phrases that have helped me throughout my time serving the Lord as a full-time missionary. The first is a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson (and he's smart so it must be a good quote). It says, "it is one of the beautiful compensations in life that no man can sincerely help another without helping himself."
I'll admit that at first, my reasons for coming on a mission were a little bit selfish. I always thought about how everyone expects young men to go on missions. They want them to build character and grow closer to the Lord and change from a boy to a man. Well, part of me always thought, why wouldn't I want that for myself? Shouldn't I want to build character? Shouldn't I want to become more converted and stronger and build a solid foundation for my future family? And so in part the reason why I came on a mission was to help myself. But I've found, as most people do, that when I start focusing on myself is the same moment when I start regressing. I don't become a better person, I become more selfish and less charitable and more about me. But, as Mr. Emerson says, when we sincerely try to help other people is when we help ourselves. I've seen that when I spend time thinking about other people; my companion, our investigators, the ward members, then that is when I become better. I've spent hours of personal study trying to figure out questions for investigators and other missionaries, and in the process gained a wealth of spiritual knowledge. I've listened to many people tell me their life problems and in the process solidified my own testimony of gospel living. And even though I'm still prideful and probably still think about myself too much, I know what it feels like to truly care about someone else's well being.
The second quote was told to me by someone in my first area, when I was visa waiting in Salt Lake City, Utah. He said that a missionary's job is to "comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." That always brings me back to why I came on a mission; what I came to do. To comfort the afflicted, to help other people feel God's love when they can't recognize it themselves. To give hugs, to listen, to share what I know in order to help them feel better. But at the same time, we are called to afflict the comfortable. To call people to repentance and to help them see that no matter how great their life is now, it can be made better through the truth of the gospel. "Remember, you will help people the most by teaching them the gospel of Jesus Christ" (PMG). Sometimes, afflicting the comfortable includes yourself. I've had lots of times when I thought I was doing great, I was all that plus the potato chips, but every time Heavenly Father would send something to kick me right off my pedestal. I can't even remember how many times I've read President's letter and thought "oh that doesn't apply to me" only to keep reading and figure out that not only does it apply directly to me, but I better repent right now and shape up.
I am so grateful that I served a mission. I cannot even describe all it has meant to me and all I have learned. I have gained a strong testimony of the truth of the Book of Mormon, the power of the Spirit, and the importance of obedience to God's commandments. When I see people smile at me on the street I think, this is why I came on a mission. When random miracles occur like running into just the person we were looking for I think, no that's why I came on a mission. When I bike through a beautiful rice field, or learn something new in Chinese, or make new friends in investigators and members. When I see someone truly change because of the gospel, not just do something because you told them to, but read all of 1 Nephi in a day because they really wanted to and they have really come to know God, that is when I know why I came on a mission. I love my Savior and I am so glad that I have had this time to represent Him. That is why I came on a mission."
I know that Christ loves us and that this is His true church. I know that this is the best and truest path to happiness. I love it! Man. I'm just so happy I could be a missionary. I honestly think I would do it all over again. It's the best thing that I've ever done. The Gospel is the happiest thing that ever happened. Sharing it with the others is the thing of most worth for us to do.
Shall we not go on in so great a cause?
Love,
Sister Cardon
Picture: all my bags are packed, I'm ready to go! No, not taking my bike with me. Gladys and I are finally parting ways.
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